


Moments To Live In

by EverlarkAlways08



Series: Moments To Live In [1]
Category: Hunger Games Series - All Media Types, Hunger Games Trilogy - Suzanne Collins
Genre: 1st Hunger Games, F/M, Mentor!Peeta, Peeta sleeping around, Tribute!Katniss
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-05-26
Updated: 2019-05-26
Packaged: 2020-03-08 12:42:16
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 16,107
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18894868
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/EverlarkAlways08/pseuds/EverlarkAlways08
Summary: Peeta Mellark was reaped to fight in the 68th Hunger Games and won at the age of 16. At 19 he watches as two more tributes from District 12 become the next victims, if only he didn’t have history with the raven haired volunteer.





	1. Chapter 1

I roughly thrust deep inside of my hook-up for tonight from behind and spill into the condom. These days the only way to get away from the horrors of my Hunger Games is to bury myself into one of many of District 12’s prostitutes. I mean what better way to escape? My family are dead, my friends abandoned me, I have no one to disappoint, right? This year’s Hunger Games won’t be any different, my two tributes will die and it’ll be another family added to the list who can’t look at me because I couldn’t save their child. 

I pay the prostitute the money owed before she leaves. I put on my robe before going downstairs to pour myself a glass of whiskey. Second best thing from fucking into oblivion? A glass of good old whiskey that my old mentor recommended to me, it helped at first but didn’t work forever, I had to result to using my dick as well as alcohol to get away from my fucked up life. Like always, my eyes slowly start drifting shut before they close completely and the nightmares start... 

_“Peeta!” Her screams are heard throughout the mountains, his heart immediately begins to race as he begins running towards her cries_

_“Delly!” He calls out, his hand gripping tightly on the handle of his sword. He finds his friend, a knife to her throat as the male tribute and Career from District Four steps closer to the edge of the mountain_

_“Let her go” Peeta snarls, raising his sword_

_“Why?” He scoffs. “We’re all dead anyways, right? Our lives aren’t ours. It won’t end until someone steps up. Is that what you want to hear?!” he screams up at the sky_

_“You don’t have to do this. We’ll get our chance at rebelling but first, you need to let her go” Peeta tries to reason but the male tribute shakes his head, tears welling up in his eyes_

_“This only ends one way...” he says, suddenly his knife drags deeply across his friends neck, Delly falls to her knees, clutching her bleeding neck and before Peeta can charge at the boy, he jumps off the cliff of the mountain, the loud canon booms throughout the arena, signalling his death. He throws his sword to the ground and runs to Delly, holding her in his arms_

_“I failed you... I promised I would protect you. I’m sorry” Peeta cries, holding his best friends body_

_“You... You have to go on. I was never meant to make it. You... the time is coming...” she replies weakly. “You were the one who needs to make it. You’re the fuel for her to step up” she adds, Peeta is confused at her words and so hugs her closer, not caring that he’s getting blood all over him_

_“No, you were meant to get out. You’re my best friend, I can’t lose you” he sobs_

_“Don’t cry... I’m going... I’m going to a better place. Away... away... from this place” she wheezes and coughs which causes blood to flow out of her mouth_

_“Hold me... I don’t want to leave alone” she says and Peeta holds her tighter before she goes completely limp, a canon booms and he cries hearing the trumpet sounds of his so called victory._

I jolt awake at the memory, I look around frantically and take a sharp in-take of breath when I realise I’m in my home in the Victors Village. I look at the clock and sigh, 3.30? Four hours until the reaping and I see no point in sleeping anymore. Two hours is my new personal best. I decide to get dressed and take a walk with my trusted whiskey bottle that’s already half empty, Haymitch must be getting into my whiskey, greedy bastard. 

It’s silent as I walk through the streets of District 12. Everyone trying to get some sleep before being reaped for fighting to the death and getting rewarded for it. I stop when I approach the familiar building and take two big gulps of my whiskey to wash down the bittersweet memories that this place held for me. My family’s bakery looks abandoned with the edges of the white building and inside burnt to a crisp, the letters that have faded and windows that are smashed. A place that use to be my home, where I grew up... until it was all taken away from me in just one year. 

I keep walking, ignoring the memory of my moms laugh, ignoring my dad’s smile and ignoring my brothers harmless teasing. I stop in my tracks when I see _her_ , she’s still beautiful but sickly skinny as always but she’s alive and that’s all I care about, she carries a leather bag as she walks towards the Seam. She senses being watched and stops her walking to look over her shoulder, our eyes interlock, the memory of so long ago flashing in my head but just as quick she scowls before snapping her head forward to continue her walk. I smirk as I watch her walk away, the curve of her ass does things to me but I ignore the urge to run after her and find out what exactly will make her squirm.

The reaping, like always, is filled with children’s miserable expression and parents solemn faces as they await their child’s destiny. I sit next to my ex-mentor as the children line up in age order, what I could do for some rum right now. Effie Trinket steps up to the microphone, announcing this year’s Hunger Games before showing the same video they show every damn year. 

“I just love that!” She says, silence is what she gets in return. 

“Now! Time for the picking of names. As always, ladies first” she takes off her purple glove before digging her hand into the round glass bowl before picking out a name. She walks back over and opens the slip of paper before leaning into the microphone 

“Primrose Everdeen” she announces, my heart sinks. It takes a while for the small blonde, her hair in two braids, to walk with the Peacekeepers but just like that it gets even worse as her name gets screamed and I know exactly who it is

“Prim! Prim! No! Prim! I volunteer! I volunteer!” Katniss pushes past the two Peacekeepers who were blocking her. “I volunteer as tribute” she announces, I clench on the side of the chair as hard as I can as her sister screams for Katniss while a tall dark haired guy carries her away. Katniss gets escorted up to the stone stage, next to Effie 

“Now. What is your name?” Effie asks

”Katniss Everdeen...” she mumbles grimly 

“Well, I bet my hat that was your sister” Effie replies to which Katniss replied with a simple ‘yes’. The male tribute gets called out, Blaze Applecross, and who must be his mother lets out a heartbreaking cry as the scared looking boy joins Effie and Katniss on the stage 

“District 12’s tributes for this year’s Hunger Games. Katniss Everdeen and Blaze Applecross. Now shake hands, you two” Effie says, motioning between the two. Reluctantly they shake hands but all I can think about is that I’m going to need a lot more alcohol to get through this year, it’s not exactly easy seeing someone you unexpectedly care about, now enter the Games and all I can do is watch. 

* * *

“Effie said that Haymitch was suppose to be with us” Blaze says, I sit down across from them with a drink in my hand

”Yeah. Well, this isn’t exactly his scene” I reply, sipping on the bitter liquid

”But your both suppose to help us. You’re both our mentors you’re suppose to tell us how to win the Games” Blaze replies 

“On the contrary, no matter what we say it won’t help. Everyone dies without mercy in that arena. No winners come out of there, it’s not a victory, it’s a defeat” Peeta sighs, his eyes turn to Katniss who’s scowling at him 

“Well, if neither of you want to help. Why are you here?” Katniss glares and I raise my glass 

“For the refreshments of course” I reply, sipping on my drink actually enjoying as I watch her glare and scowl at me, maybe it’ll make the blow easier when I see her die in that arena.

The elevator ride up to our living quarters, Effie talks our ears off. She gives our two tributes the run down of the Tribute Centre, saying that they get the penthouse like that’s suppose to make their lives better, they’re going into the fucking Hunger Games to kill each other not on a luxurious vacation. Like always I get my same old room before going straight to where the alcohol is stored, pouring myself a glass 

“Do you ever not drink?” I turn to see Katniss behind me, arms crossed and scowl on her face 

“Do you ever not scowl?” I grumble, leaning against the wall behind me 

“I don’t remember you being so repugnant” she says and I smirk 

“Likewise” is all I reply with, I watch with amusement as her lips form a straight line. Fuck, I want to fuck her long and rough, I bet she’s a virgin, she sure acts like one. She rolls her eyes before storming away, I walk to my room and shut the door. I sit on the plush armchair across from my bed and start dozing off, memories of my past coming through to haunt me

_It’s pouring down with rain. Peeta glances out the window to see a girl laying against the tree, her dark hair is drenched and her fingers are much skinner than people Peeta knows in the merchant side of his District. He watches as her eyes look at people walking out of the bakery eating the sweets, he then realises what’s going on, she’s starving and she’s from the Seam. Peeta fights the urge to run out there and help her, instead he looks over his shoulder and burns one of the ends and a little on the sides of the bread loaf he just made._

_“I’m sorry, mom... I wasn’t paying attention” he tells his mother who sighs_

_”No matter, son. Feed it to the pigs and bake another” she replies as she kneads the dough. Peeta rushes out of the bakery and signals the girl over, she walks over in a heap, stumbling on her skinny legs until she approaches Peeta. He kneels down to her level and extends the loaf towards her_

_“It’s burnt but it’s the only way I could get it for you. I hope you don’t mind” he says, the girl slowly reaches out and takes the loaf from his hands, looking at the loaf like it’s imaginary in her small hands_

_“I can keep it?” She asks, her silver eyes gleam with hope and Peeta smiles at her_

_“Of course. It’ll feed your family until you can find a way to get food. Eat it wisely” Peeta replies, she nods then hugs him_

_“Thank you, for saving me and my family” she says, he wraps his strong arms around the girl_

_“It’s alright. Just promise me you’ll survive” Peeta tells her, breaking away from their hug_

_“I will. I promise” and for the first time, the girls frown turns to a smile. She kisses Peetas’ cheek before scurrying off towards the Seam, running on her skinny legs with the loaf tucked into her jacket, Peeta rises and watches as her small frame disappears from view and he can only hope that he saved her and her family from starving._

I groan as I realise I’m still in the world of living. It’s just another memory added to the lists of wanting to forget, I rub the back of my neck where the strain is but it’s nothing I can’t handle. I walk out and enter the large dining room where everyone is seated, my seat is next to Haymitch and, lucky me, across from Katniss 

“Your manners are absolutely contemptible, Peeta!” Effie comments, cutting into her lamb before eating it

“Yeah, well, I can’t exactly say I’m leaping with joy at the thought of being here” I sigh, pouring myself some of the red liquid into my glass before inhaling the drink in just three big gulps and refilling it again 

”Now, tomorrow is your first day of training. Don’t show your main strength. Katniss, don’t shoot the bow even though there will be one and Blaze, no knife throwing. You need to save them when you’re showing the Gamemaker your talent. The higher points your given, the more odds are in your favour” Haymitch explains, I just roll my eyes before continuing to eat and drink, going over the same speech over the same dinner is starting to get a little tedious

”If you’re so good at giving the advice then what’s the point on him being here” Katniss motions to me but I grin at her 

“To fail, of course” I reply

”You know, maybe the tributes you mentored died because you didn’t believe in them. You just waste away” Katniss snaps

”Tell me something. What’s it like to dig your weapon so far into a person that you watch their life drain from their eyes? You think because you prance around the woods automatically means that you’re fully trained? You’re dealing with a lot of kids, Careers, who’ve trained for cold blood killing. Showing no remorse when doing it. By all means join the list of kids who die in that arena” I reply

”I’m not going to die in there. I promised my sister I’ll make it back and I never break my promises” she growls 

“Well, your sister is going to be sorely disappointed” I reply. She then stands abruptly, narrowing her dangerous state in my direction, why does that look make her look so fucking sexy? 

“Fuck you. Maybe try putting down alcohol and be useful, help your tributes survive. Instead of sitting on your ass and being a no good asshole” Katniss then storms off in anger, Blaze sits awkwardly next to the empty seat, Effie lets out a long sigh as she dabs around her mouth with her napkin and Haymitch just shakes his head

“Give the girl a break, boy. They need their heads in the right space” Haymitch grumbles

”Come, Blaze. You should be getting to bed, big, big day tomorrow” Effie says not forgetting to give me a disapproving glance before leaving the room with the boy who’s currently as stiff as a board and I can’t help but roll my eyes

”What exactly am I suppose to tell them? That they should embrace their inanimate lives or maybe that it’ll all be okay because we’re all a team? Or maybe to tell them to keep onto hope. I was pretty convinced that’s what I needed to do and what happened? Snow had my family killed. So, yeah, shame on me” I snap at my old mentor. I stand from my seat to go into my room and I slam the door shut, fuck them all. They don’t know what it feels like to lose their families like I did, Snow done that all because I refused the crown he tried to place on my head to show my so called ‘victory’, fuck him. 

Everyone sleeps, dreaming of impossible things that’ll never happen. I sit on the couch watching the old Games, I start mine and my heart pangs as I see Delly’s terrified facial expression. I watch as the siren goes off, I run straight for the cornucopia while Delly runs towards the one of many mountains. I almost risked my life getting that stupid bag and sword, it’s a miracle that I wasn’t killed by the Careers. I look over my shoulder when I hear feet shuffling, Katniss stands there in a night-shirt that only reaches to the middle of her thighs, her long hair falling in waves and out of her usual braid 

“I can’t sleep” she mumbles

”Splendid” I reply sarcastically, re-directing my stare to the television screen, she rounds the couch to sit next to me, tucking her legs under her as she also watches the Games I fought in 

”Why are you watching your Games?” She asks 

“To remind myself of all the wrong moves I made” I frown, I watch as it shows me sprinting through the trees, in desperate search of my best friend

”But you won. How’d you make wrong moves?” She asks

”Because, I ran to the cornucopia instead of running after Delly. Also, right here” I say that just as I collide with one of the Careers, the one person who pretended to be my ally...

“Was Delly your girlfriend or something?” Katniss asks, I shake my head 

“She was my best friend. I promised her boyfriend, Thom, that I’d protect her, die for her if it meant she was crowned Victor. She was my only true friend and I couldn’t keep one simple promise” I tense my jaw in anger, cursing my naive sixteen-year-old self

”I trusted the person from the Career pack. He had promised that once we found Delly, he’d let us run” I start to explain 

“Something... happened a couple of days into the Games and I ran from him, I didn’t want to be apart of their pack, so I ran. I found Delly two days later, I was running to her when one of the Careers threw a knife into her shoulder and another sliced my leg” I lift my short sleeve high enough for her to see the big gash scar right in the middle of my thigh 

“My weakness is what lead Delly and my allies to their death. I trusted too easily, the Careers knew that and used it to their advantage. We got away, barely and hid out in the mountains for most of it. We listened, canon after canon, watching at night as the fallen tributes are announced in the sky. The both of us were starving and incredibly thirsty. I left because I would’ve preferred my life rather than hers and I left her with most of the weapons while I took my sword...” I clench my fists as I remember the day that’s still vivid even today

“I heard her scream for me. I wasn’t fast enough” I frown, I start bobbing my leg up and down anxiously. I squeeze my eyes shut when I hear Delly scream my name, I can never watch it but I can never find the will to turn it off and so it plays through, I’m left with hearing myself trying to talk the last Career down from killing Delly until it was too late and I win causing the video to end. I look at Katniss who’s looking at the white screen, her hand over her mouth in shock 

“I... I didn’t know that happened to you. I don’t understand why you blame yourself, non of that was your fault” Katniss finally says but I scoff 

“It is my fault. I get home and my family is dead, I get a good punch to the face by Thom and my friends can’t bare to look at me. Every move I made that I thought would help me get out of there had just hurt everyone else around me. Every pair of Tributes that I have  mentored don’t make it. I may be wrong, though. District 12 may finally have a winner after so many years” I sigh

”You think I could win?” She asks 

“I think you may survive. No one ever wins the Games, survivors? Sure, but never winners” I reply, running my hand through my hair 

“I didn’t forget the bread. I never forgot. You saved me and my family from starving, it kept us going for much longer” she admits softly

”Neither did I but if I convince myself you hate me then it might not hurt if you don’t survive” I reply 

“I know... and I know it sounds absurd to promise my sister something that is such a slim chance of happening. I just... I want to be able to see her again” Katniss frowns 

“Even if you don’t make it your mother and sister are in good hands” I say, she looks at me confused 

“What? You think I’d let them starve? If you don’t make it then I’ve already planned it, more than half of my winnings are going to them. I couldn’t save Delly from dying but maybe I can stop it happening to the only family you have left” I tell her, for the first time since I’ve seen her, she offers a shadow of a smile but it’s gone just as quick as it got there

”You’d do that for me?” She asks 

“Of course. You really are blind, Katniss” I sigh, rolling my eyes, she scoots closer and lays her head on my shoulder then sighs 

“So can you” she yawns. Not too long her soft, even breaths are heard. I smile a little to myself but frown at the thought about how after she goes through the Games, if she makes it, she won’t have the same life and not to mention all the blame directed at her when it’s Snow who should be getting the blame. He’s destroying children’s states of mind. I know he’s going to do the same to Katniss and I hate him for it.

* * *

Over breakfast I look at Katniss subtly. Her training uniform hugs her in all the right places, including the curve of her ass that made me want to peel those tight looking pants right off her legs, her shirt hugs to her chest to show the lumps of her breasts. She’s really grown from that sickly looking little girl and she’s changed completely, I hardly recognise her, she looks stronger... a survivor. I stare off into space and recall the memory that made her hate my guts, a year after I got home from my Games...

_Peeta sits on his families bakery front steps. Face in his hands. He payed the cost for his actions in order for all of this all to happen, Delly, his parents, his brothers and he hates himself for being so foolish, for not listening to what his mentor had told him. Don’t. Trust. Anyone. Peeta replays his mentors words throughout his head, every time, leaving a bitter aftertaste. He looks as a pair of shoed feet come into his line of vision. He looks up and remembers the girl immediately, even if her hair is in one braid instead of two, he could never forget her and he knows why she’s here_

_“Just go ahead and say it. Everyone else got their blow” Peeta grumbles_

_“I’m not here to insult you. I don’t know why you think I would be” She scowls while crossing her arms over her chest, Peeta stands from where he sat, towering over the girl_

_“You might as well. No one understands what I’ve gone through. I’ve lost my entire family, my only friend. Why are you even here? Don’t you have other people to bother?” Peeta glares at the young girl who looks taken aback by his rough response_

_“I just thought you’d want—“_

_“What? A friend? I don’t want a friend. They won’t understand me. Especially you” he snaps, her silver eyes light up with rage_

_“Oh, I don’t understand? Yeah, well, while you lost your family I lost both of my parents, one just exists and that’s it. My entire neighbourhood is on the brink of starvation, so far on the brink that it doesn’t bother us anymore. I thought I’d be able to talk to you. I was wrong. You’ve changed, not for the better” she snaps back_

_“Yeah, war does that” he says with a frown_

_“So, that’s it? Your just going to hide away? Not face and fight your problems?” Katniss looks at him with disappointment, a look he’s use to since he got home last year_

_“That’s what I'm best at, aren’t I? Everyone else thinks so. Just... it’ll be best for you to just stay away from me. I’m not the same person you met” Peeta snaps, walking off and never looking back._

We all finish our breakfast and both Katniss and Blaze are separately taken to get ready for the Tribute Parade. I go with Haymitch and Effie to wait in the tunnel, I roll my eyes as Effie gets conformation that the horses are fit enough and that the chariot is stable enough for her two tributes. It takes a while before Katniss and Blaze return, Blaze wears an all black suit with his red hair slicked back, not incredibly to die for out fit if I’m being honest. Though, my breath hitches when I look to Katniss, her hair is in an elegant chignon with orange and red glitter, her almost black dress hugs her body perfectly, she looks gorgeous... 

“Look at my two tributes!” Effie squeals, adjusting Blaze’s blazer, I grin when I see Katniss’ make-up covered face scowl before her eyes roll. I watch as a dark skinned stylist approach us, he must be the new guy, he also has a stick that has an almost green flame burning and my eyes immediately widen 

“Woah! Let’s not kill them just yet” I tell the man 

“It’s fake, Peeta. The District is coal, mining. I want it to be a little more jazzed up a bit this year with these costumes” the stylist replies, touching the flame to their suits as the District Ten chariot leaves. I want to tell Katniss just how beautiful she looks but I bite my tongue. I do offer my hand and help her onto the chariot, I look into her eyes 

“Knock their socks off. Don’t be afraid to come out of your comfort zone” I tell her 

“I’m not afraid” she replies firmly, I grin at her 

“I know” I say, stepping away from the chariot so it can pull them both away from us and towards the clearing.

Effie is ecstatic about Katniss’ and Blazes’ show. So much so she tells them that she was more than impressed which apparently is an honour to get told, at least in Effies’ delusional head it is. We eventually leave, mostly because of the Careers staring at Katniss and Blaze like they’re a meal, I make sure to eye Cato Thrusher, his uncle, Samael, had been the one to cause me to almost lose my leg and kill my only ally other than Delly in that place, I know exactly what the basterds intentions are.

Everyone waits for Katniss and Blaze to get changed before dinner get’s served. Half way through dinner, though, I excuse myself and go to the roof with my sketching pad, I also ignore the stare of death that Effie gives me as I leave the living quarters. I sit on the bench and open my pad, I look beyond me and sigh at the sunset, without hesitation, I pick up the softest shade of orange from my pastels and let my hand and sight take over. It’s nightfall by the time I finish, I sign my initials at the bottom then inspect my work

”That’s really beautiful” I turn to see Katniss standing there, clear faced and hair in a single braid

“Thank you” I reply. She comes over and sits next to me, I add a little more detail to the drawing, trusting my memory at how it all looked 

“Why did you push me away?” She suddenly asks after a moment of silence between us, I stop from drawing but I don’t look at her 

“It’s complicated. You—“ 

“Won’t understand? I’ve been told that ever since the accident in the mines that claimed my fathers’ life. You don’t understand why it happened, Katniss. You don’t understand life yet, Katniss. You don’t understand how to be mature, Katniss. I’ve heard it my entire life, I didn’t expect it to come from you, I didn’t expect you to walk away like you did” Katniss says, I sigh and close my sketch pad, placing it next to me to face her 

“I didn’t do it to be a dick. I did it because I knew if you stayed with me, I would’ve dragged you down just like everyone else in my life. It wasn’t you. Since my first Games, Snow has always been one step ahead of me, once I show any emotion that I care about someone, he rips them away. I don’t want that to happen to you” I reply

”I’m stronger than you think Peeta” she frowns, I stand and shake my head, I walk over to the railing and grip it to remind me that he’s watching, he’s always watching 

“It’s not about that, Katniss. Snow has power. Power is what makes Snow thrive, it’s how he built his empire. You can’t beat power” I tell her, showing her nothing but my back, I can’t lose her too... 

“What about hope? Even the smallest bit of it can overcome power. There’s always a flaw in the system, in Snows it’s hope” Katniss replies, suddenly standing next to me. I look out at the darkened horizon, the dark outline of trees, trees that don’t have a care in the world

”It’s not that easy. Snow will always win, he never goes away. Whenever you show an ounce of defiance, he gets ready to slither up behind you and strike. That’s what worries me, you’re prone to defying the rules” I tell her with a small grin

”I only do it when it’s not right. You know I’m right on this” she says, I feel her tiny hand go over my clenched one. I look at her, the moonlight makes her look even more beautiful, I’ve never felt such a strong force towards someone the opposite sex before. I guess I felt it since I met her but I only now understand why I feel it, I know getting attached is a bad idea, I know that nothing should happen between us. I realise all of this as our lips are inches apart and it takes all my will power to stop leaning in further 

“Katniss... we can’t. I can’t give him another reason. I can’t lose you too. He’s always watching and he—“ 

“Shh” she says putting her fingers over my lips to silence me

”I won’t let him destroy you. I know that person I knew is still in there somewhere” she whispers, I kiss the tips of her fingers before she replaces them, gripping the back of my neck

”Please... if I get you, I won’t be able to give you back” I whisper back 

“Then don’t” she mummers. I ignore the screaming thoughts of how I’m doing the wrong thing, the racing of my heart and the sparks in my body is a lot more exhilarating. I lean in and join our lips, it’s almost like our lips mould into one, she sighs which encourages me to pull her closer, I have a bad feeling I’m going to regret this... but I couldn’t care less because I just want to live in the moment, maybe even forever. 


	2. Chapter 2

Her lips are plump. Soft and peachy. Her body moulds perfectly against mine, not to mention the way she practically falls in my arms. Her sighs and whimpers play through my head, like a beautiful melody that I never want to fade out. I can’t help though, the look of disappointment when I broke the kiss, telling her that I can’t do it, I can’t let her be hurt because of me. Again, I walked away but this time I actually almost looked back, I kept on walking though and left her on that rooftop. Not caring that my sketch pad and pastels were up there. It didn’t surprise me that they were right behind my door when I awoke this morning.

Since this morning, Katniss hasn’t been able to meet my eyes. Probably for the best. It’s best if she hates me and I act like I hate her too, Snow will see that there’s no one left that I care about that he can hurt to use against me. I ignore the painful twinge in my heart at the thought of Katniss dying. Her blood all on my hands. Snow turning me into his own puppet that does the dirty work for him. I do know that if that were to happen, I’d make sure that Katniss is long gone and far away from me as possible by then, having Snow hurt her like I know he could is by far the worst nightmare I could think of. It’s a nightmare that is extremely likely to become true because Snow is that powerful and capable. 

“Peeta.” I look up to see Haymitch looking at me with a raised eyebrow, I notice that everyone at the table are looking at me

”Yes?” I say 

“What I said was, advise your tributes. Like usual” Haymitch grumbles, I let out a sigh and try not to look directly at Katniss as I talk 

“Right. There’s going to be weapons, big and small, heavy and light. Don’t use them” I advise, a mistake I made during my own training session

”Why? I suppose we just sit there and do nothing then” Katniss scowls 

“By all means, use them and put a big red target on your back. Those Careers will see you wielding those weapons and their first move will be to take you out, a four verses one fight? You won’t stand a chance. You stick with the things everyone else is doing or something that doesn’t bring too much attention to yourselves” I reply as I pop the fluffy pancake in my mouth 

“What if wielding weapons is all we’re good at?” The question comes from Blaze, of course

”Well, you better hope that you’re good at finding hiding places. Even worse if the Careers see you do nothing but wield a sword or bow and arrows, you’re this small of a threat on their radar” I use my index finger and thumb to emphasise just how small, it makes the boy stiffen but like always, it’s not my problem 

“This may be the time to pick out your allies. This is where having a good sense of character comes in. Never have someone who makes you feel uncomfortable or anxious, that feeling is never a good sign” I tell them sternly, aiming my look much more to Katniss, trying to tell her how important it is not to go against me but she wouldn’t be my Katniss if she didn’t which is why I wasn’t surprised by her answer 

“I’m sorry, but I’d much prefer being alone. I travel quicker that way” she scowls at me, she scowls an awful lot, and I sigh 

“You’re probably right _but_ say you’re facing four tributes at once and you have at least one ally by your side. You stand a chance to win that fight rather than fighting on your own” I reply pointing my fork at her 

“Okay, we get allies. What exactly is meant to happen if we get to the end and it’s just the ally and ourselves?” Blaze asks 

“Either you kill one or the other _or_ the Gamemaker will just get tired and kill one of you by doing eenie, meenie, miny, moe” I answer

”But... what if they’re our friend?” He frowns, jeez... this kid really has no clue what he’s going into

”In that arena, yourself is the only person you can trust. Everyone has a motive in the arena and they all want to get back to their families” I reply. “This isn’t a time to make new friends, kid. This is simply a game of survival. Everything you’ve ever been taught that was good is gone. It died the moment your name was pulled out of that reaping bowl same goes with volunteering” I add, sipping on my morning whiskey, Katniss gives me a dirty look but Haymitch quickly takes over for the rest of the time we’re at the table. 

My jaw tenses as I knock on the mahogany door. It takes a moment before someone answers. A woman answers with a fake smile once she sees my face, I remain emotionless as she allows me in. I stand by the door even after the woman closes it and stands by his desk, I look into his snake-like eyes and take in his white hair and beard, the man who’s made my life be nothing but a downcast, President Coriolanus Snow, he gestures to the seat across from his desk and hesitantly I take a seat

”It’s been a while, my boy” his smile is far from genuine and like his eyes, it’s much like a snake

”It has” I reply stiffly

“I don’t want to waste each other’s time. I’m sure we both have much important matters to attend to. Although, I must say, something has come to my attention” he says

”What exactly is that?” I ask, not in the mood for his taunting 

“I want to ask you a question before I go on. Why do we have the Hunger Games?” He asks and I tense my jaw 

“Couldn’t tell you. I guess some crazy person decided putting children in an arena to murder each other thought that it was a fabulous idea” I reply sarcastically 

“Not quite that. You see, the freedom of choice is what brought on the Dark Days. The days where people could speak when it wasn’t needed, defy without punishment and cause love triangles. It destroyed the system, made it unstable. The moment you set foot into the arena I saw you as a threat. I needed the threat to not be eliminated but warned” he says

“So you chose to burn my family alive? Just because you saw me as a threat? I can’t say I’m flattered” I glare at the older man, he leans forward, an evil smirk on his face

“You needed to learn. Defiance is a dreadful quality. I would watch your tongue. I must say, you both make a lovely couple. I’d hate for something to happen to her because of your defiance” he turns the screen before getting up and leaving, I’m frozen, watching footage of Katniss and I kissing on the rooftop. Snows’ last comment was hardly a compliment, it was another threat. The kind I was afraid of. Any slight move that shows defiance against his system and Katniss’ life is taken.

The looming threat of Snow is constantly in my thoughts. It doesn’t make me scared anymore, no. It makes me angry. Pissed. Furious. How dare he use her as a threat. She has a mom and younger sister, she has people who love and care for her, me included. Like hell I’m letting him take her from me. I storm the living quarters and find Haymitch making a sandwich, he immediately looks my way and looks extremely confused 

“We need to get her out. She needs to survive” I tell him, he rolls his eyes and continues making his sandwich 

“It’s almost impossible. The odds aren’t exactly in her favour, one in twenty-four? Not exactly a great chance” he says

”I don’t give a fuck! We both know she’s stronger than anyone we’ve ever seen. _You_ know she can do it” I reply 

“Look, kid. I know you don’t want your girlfriend to die but we can’t help her” he bites into his finished sandwich but I refuse to believe that 

“She’s not my girlfriend. That’s not even the point!” I look around to make sure we’re alone before telling him in a hushed tone. “I met up with him just then. Asked me to see him. He used her, Haymitch. She’s the threat he’s using, dangling her life in front of me. She needs the sponsors an—“ 

“I see where your coming from, I do. You also know that she can’t be given every single sponsor. We can’t do much when it comes to helping her out of the arena. It’s pretty much impossible. I told you, getting attached ruins you. Pull your head out of your rear end and look at reality. Your girl doesn’t stand a chance” Haymitch interrupts, I don’t have it in me to try reasoning with him because once the bastard makes up his mind, that’s that

”Fuck you” I sneer before storming off to my room, slamming the door. 

* * *

I sit on the edge of the bed pulling at my hair. This can’t be happening. I can’t lose the only person who’s left that truely cares about me. I think of possible ways she could survive, maybe there’s a way we could rig the system... no, the Gamemakers are always loyal to Snow. Running away is an option. No it’s not. Snow would have her mother and sister killed before we could set foot out of the Capitol. I stand in a fit of rage and narrow my gaze at my victim, I grab the probably expensive vase and ditch it at the wall, causing it to shatter loudly, next is the stupid looking glass decorations on the dresser. 

I sit back on the edge of the bed again. A frustrated huff escapes my mouth. I grip the sheets to keep it all in, I don’t know how I can save her. No one will help me and there’s no way avoiding the Games that won’t lead to people’s lives ending. I’m soon interrupted by a soft knock on the door, I ignore it and look at the shattered glass, Effie won’t be happy, not that I give a fuck though. The person who knocked enters and I immediately know who it is, I can’t find the will to look at her.

“I was sleeping and... I heard” she says, I remain quiet 

“You’re worrying me. You missed dinner and you’ve been quiet. Then I heard smashing, a lot. Tell me what’s wrong” she tells me but I shake my head. She approaches me and lifts my head so I’m looking at her 

“Don’t shut me out. I can take it” she looks at me pleadingly and I can’t hold back anymore, I tell her 

“He knows, Snow knows about the kiss, how I feel about you. We talked when you were training. He used you as a threat if I don’t play by his rules, Katniss. He knows that you’re my biggest weakness. The death that’ll once and for all destroy me” I frown

”What makes you think I’m going to die?” She asks 

“Be realistic, Katniss. There’s a chance you might not make it. I only just barely got out” I reply, she sits so that she’s straddling my lap and my hands work on their own, placing themselves on her hips, where they feel most at home 

“Please... if I kiss you... I won’t be able to stop. I won’t be able to stop myself from taking you on this bed” I whisper 

“I know” she whispers back, connecting our lips for a second time. It’s like all of life’s problems are gone for just a moment. I pull her closer so that her front is pressing against mine, I pull away but quickly discard of her night-dress before slamming our lips back together again. I feel her starting to unbutton my shirt, one button at a time so I un-clip the back of her bra, the straps falling off her shoulders. 

I move my lips in the area above her breasts. I taste her skin. Savouring it. She smells of pine and cherry, an oddly satisfying smell. I flip her so she’s lying on the bed and I throw my unbuttoned shirt on the floor by the bed before crawling over her, throwing her bra somewhere in the room. She covers her breasts with her arms before I could see them, the small bedside lamp being our only source of light

”Katniss...” I mummer, removing her arms and sucking her small breasts before she could protest. “You’re beautiful” I mumble and I mentally scream out in joy when she lets out a pleasuring sigh, accompanied my a hurried nod. My pants are suddenly extremely tight, my erection definitely making itself known, I take off my pants before continuing the sucking at her breasts, her fingers tugging at the back of my head 

“Please... don’t leave. Stay with me” she whispers into the room, I stop showing her breasts attention to line my face up with her own

“I won’t. I’ll stay. Always” I whisper back connecting our lips until a thought causes me to stop

”Katniss... are you... a virgin?” I ask, she blushes and nods, looking anywhere but me

“Hey.” She looks at me. “There’s nothing wrong with that. I’ll just be gentle. Can I use my fingers on you? It’ll help when it actually happens” I ask her, she nods, the words somehow lost. I start by kissing her, I wait until she’s distracted and relaxed before slipping my hand into her panties, finding them to be wet, I must definitely be doing it right then. I don’t hesitate when slipping my index finger through her folds, my heart races as she tightens around my one finger. She gasps, grips my shoulders and bites down on my lip, causing me to grunt pleasurably 

“Do-don’t stop” she gasps

”Don’t you worry. I don’t plan to” I grunt, shoving my middle finger in after a couple of thrusting with just one inside her, I watch as she unwinds underneath me as my fingers thrust in and out of her 

“Peeta...” she moans, pulling my head down for a kiss, I can’t help myself by adding a third, filling her up, thrusting violently inside of her as our tongues fight with just as much violence. As expected she has her first orgasm by my fingers and I swallow down her cries. I break the kiss to look into her dazed eyes and facial expression 

“What’d you think?” I ask 

“It was... really weird at first but, it got to be the most amazing feeling” she replies, I smile genuinely at her because that’s all I ever wanted, I look into her eyes as I suck my fingers clean from her juices, the taste is tangy but has a hint of sweetness. I rid myself of my suddenly tight boxers and she with her panties before I join our lips once again, massaging her breasts as we hungrily kiss 

“Do... do you have... anything?” She pants

”Thankfully, the Capitol provides condoms in every room. Only thing good about this place” I reply yanking the bedside draw open and fishing out a foil package before shoving it closed. I practically tear the packet open and roll it onto my hardened cock before joining our lips back together

”Now...” I start, hitching her leg against my waist. “It might hurt for a bit. If it’s too much tell me to stop, okay?” I tell her and she nods, I kiss her, again, waiting until she’s relaxed before pushing myself through her tight folds. I can feel her tense and I move my lips to her neck, kissing and sucking at her olive skin, staying still until she gives me the okay to move again

“Keep moving” she says breathlessly, I do as requested, I’m careful as I pull out with only my tip still in her, I don’t miss the wince she gives but tries to play off, I ask her if she wants to stop but shakes her head and tells me to keep going. My thrusts are soft and slow, hitting angles I know a lot of girls enjoy. It’s not too long until she’s growling in my ear. Faster. Harder. Deeper. She claws at my back and I grip her hips roughly

”Fuck!” She cries as I angle just a bit more upwards, I found where she enjoys it. I smirk against her lips and continue to thrust at that same place 

“Fuck, Katniss... your fit perfectly for my cock” I grunt against her ear 

“I—oh!—figured” she moans out. I hook both legs around my waist and hook my hands at the top of her head, preparing her for the rough thrusts I’m about to do. I show her sweet pussy no mercy as I violently thrust in and out. The headboard hitting the wall with every thrust. It brings me pleasure to see her bunch the sheets in her fists. I move her hand next to her head and interlock our fingers, I encourage her to let go, her body shakes and with one last cry swallowed by my mouth once again, she has her second orgasm. I grab the headboard in a death grip as my thrusting becomes erratic and I bury myself deep inside her while letting out a grunt, spilling into the condom. Our irregular breaths are heard throughout the room, I press our sweaty foreheads together and look into her tired silver eyes

“Now I’ll never let you go” I whisper, kissing her lips

“Don’t... please, don’t” she replies, grabbing my face and kisses me but much longer than the previous kiss

”I’m not letting you die in that arena, I’m not letting Snow take you from me” I tell her 

“Neither will I. That’s what you and I do now, we protect each other” she says 

“Yes. We protect each other” I agree, pulling out of her completely. I dispose of the condom before returning under the covers, pulling her naked body against mine

”How’d you get this?” I ask, massaging the scar on her hip 

“I fell out of a tree one day when my dad took me hunting. My mom had to stitch it up for me. It’s ugly, I know” she replies, I shake my head and raise my arm to grip her breast 

“Far from it. Pretty sexy, actually” I growl against her ear 

“Effie and Haymitch won’t be happy” Katniss states and I chuckle, she turns in my arms to face me, for once, a bright smile on her beautiful face

”I don’t care. You know what I’ll do?” I reply 

“What’s that?” She asks, I kiss her hard and make sure to add my tongue into the mix

”I’d also do it in front of Snow. The biggest middle finger to them all who don’t believe” I answer

”Snow doesn’t scare you anymore?” She asks 

“Of course. He scares me shitless but I have you. You make me less scared than I need to be. I don’t know if it’s dangerous or exhilarating” I grin, she rolls her eyes and rubs my cheek, she smiles softly in thought 

“What are you thinking about?” I ask

”Just how I’ve got him back. The boy who gave me bread. You’ve come back to me” she replies, kissing my forehead and I chuckle at her affections 

“Thank you...” I smile, she looks at me confused which amuses me in a way 

“What are you thanking me for?” She asks

”For never giving up on me. No matter how much of an asshole I was” I answer and she smiles, kissing me tenderly 

“I never doubted you, Peeta. The entire time your Games were going on I hoped you’d survive and come home. I know what happened at the bakery wasn’t an accident, we’ll make Snow pay for everything” she scowls and I smile sadly 

“How’d you know?” I ask, she raises her eyebrow

”Please, your family were high experienced bakers and ovens burning whatever it was cooking doesn’t destroy a bakery like that and burn people alive. I may have been twelve but I wasn’t stupid” she replies, I hold her closer until there’s no space left, enjoying our skin-on-skin contact

“Get some sleep. We don’t want you to be over-tired” I say, she nods and lays her head on my chest. It’s not long before she eventually falls asleep in my tight embrace, safely in my arms, out of Snows reach and for once since I got home from my Hunger Games, I dream of standing under an arch in the woods, wearing a suit, soft music and a raven haired bride walking down the isle. 

* * *

Katniss and I continue our late night meet ups. Sometimes in my room. Sometimes in hers. At meal times we steal glances and smiles from across the table, I wink at her when no one is looking and pull her aside before she leaves to train, just so her and I can have a short make out. A particular night, Katniss is straddling me as we make out on the couch, everyone is in bed which leaves us being alone, or so we thought everyone was in bed sleeping 

“Well, isn’t this a sight” our kissing immediately ceases and the lights turn on, Haymitch stands, leaning against the wall by the switch, Katniss moves off of my lap to sit next to me and looks at her lap 

“Go to bed, sweetheart” Haymitch sighs, Katniss scrambles to her feet and scurries out of the room. I stand and pick up my shirt from the floor, putting it over my head to put it on 

“What are you doing, boy?” Haymitch grumbles 

“Don’t start, Haymitch. You wouldn’t understand anything” I frown but he just scoffs 

“You know, you need to keep it in your pants. The last thing we need is a love sick puppy when she should concentrate on staying alive. Not when she’ll next roll around in the sheets with you” he says, I walk past him and scoff

”Oh? We’re suddenly caring that she makes it out? As soon as you find out that un-surprisingly we’re together. You lost your family and girlfriend. I get that, but mine is going into the arena. Don’t you understand? I don’t care what, you, Snow or anyone in the Districts think. I’m going to protect her and her family with my life” I firmly tell my ex-mentor 

“You can’t win against him, Peeta. People have tried before and failed. No one is capable enough to take him on” Haymitch replies 

“That’s not true. We both know who’s strong enough to take him on and she’s going into that arena. Don’t try and kid yourself, she’s stronger and much more intelligent than all of those knucklehead Careers put together” I scowl. I turn and head for my room, I walk in and shut the door, grinning as I see Katniss laying under the sheets 

“I’m guessing you heard all of that?” I ask, she signals me over with her index finger 

“Every. Word” she purrs, holy shit. That’s the sexiest sound I’ve ever heard. I walk over, getting rid of my shirt, pants and boxers all before getting to her, she flings the covers back to reveal her naked body

”Jesus, Katniss. You’re making me almost blow my load right here” I groan 

“And you’re making me wait” she replies, sounding impatient. I take the hint and pick up one of the handful square foils sitting on top of the drawer, that I’m guessing she had done. I slide it on and cover us with the blanket before entering her

“I take it we’re going to fuck a handful of times?” I grunt

”Well, it is the tribute break day tomorrow. No waking early or even leaving the centre. I’ll be right ne—oh god!—next to you, when you wake up” she groans 

“Mmm, sounds like a perfect morning. I do have a question to ask you, though” I grin against her ear 

“Ask away” she sighs 

“Be my girlfriend? Make it official” I whisper, kissing her jaw, cheek, eyelid, tip of her nose and then her lips 

“Do you even need me to say my answer? Yes. Thought you’d never ask” she smirks, fuck... seeing her smirk for the first time makes me handle her roughly, turning us so that she’s on top, my back resting against the headboard, switching it up a bit. The thrusting stops and she looks at me, confusion in her eyes 

“It’s all you, baby. Set your own pace. Put your hands here” I instruct, placing her hands over my chest. Slowly she grinds her hips, causing me to slid deeper inside her, she’s practically ridding me at this point, her breasts bouncing in my face, I bring one to my mouth and massage the other 

“Fuck, I love these guys” I groan as I suck her nipple, I bite down when she grinds down due to the pleasure that it causes to shoot throughout my body, she lets out a squeak and I immediately stop, thinking it hurt her

“Don’t stop. Bite it again, it felt amazing” she forces my face more against her breast and my god the sounds that come from her mouth... if this happens every time then I’m bitting her nipple a lot more often. I move to the other one, switching the attention 

“I’m close” she sighs 

“Keep going” I growl with her nipple between my teeth. I’m soon shocked when I feel a hand grab and massage my balls. Fuck me. After a couple more thrusting, biting, massaging, sucking and groping we both finish, together for the first time. She collapses against my chest in a fit of uneven breathing 

“I want to spend the whole day with you tomorrow. Have a picnic on the roof. Our first date, what do you think?” I ask 

“Sounds like a date” she replies with a sigh, I turn us so she’s laying down and pull out of her. Like usual, I get rid of the condom and join her again, holding tight as I do. I rub up and down her bare back as we both lay with each other, lost in our own thoughts.

”Peeta... I—I don’t want to die” Katniss suddenly chokes out, for the first time since the reaping day that strong woman that everyone saw crumbles under my arms in fear, I hold her closer to me, trying to tell her that I understand what she’s going through

”Katniss. I swear to you that I won’t let that happen. Just... kill when you have to. I’m not letting you die in there, let your death be something televised, be apart of a television show” I firmly tell her even though I’m absolutely terrified for her safety 

“Some of the sponsors in there have to go to Blaze too so we don’t show favouritism but I’ll make sure you get something you need. I promise. Just remember this feeling if you scared or alone” I add, softly joining our lips in a long but passionate kiss that feels like lasts for a blissful eternity before I break away reluctantly from her lips 

“Come here” I mumble and allow her to move closer to me so she can sleep. I whisper reassuring words against her ear until she falls asleep. While she sleeps soundly, I lay awake, I’m going have to fight harder than I ever have before once she goes into that arena because I refuse to let her die. I won’t let them take away my only anchor left to keep me sane. I won’t let them turn me into some kind of monster, into something I’m not. I am determined that if I die, I want to die still being me. 

Lucky for us it’s actually a very nice day. We sit on a blanket, eating Capitol food which we can’t deny is unbelievably tasty. I look at my beautiful girlfriend and smile, her wavy raven hair is in an half up braid with the rest flowing down her back, the two braids connected together with a gold flower clip, a primrose flower clip. She’s also wearing a dress as day wear and she looks positively ravishing, it’s orange, a soft kind and it’s simple. It starts off as a soft orange which then turns to yellow and then by the end of the skirt it’s red, then black shoes to pull of the look

”And then for some reason I—“ she stops talking when she catches me admiring her, the way the dress ties around her neck, her bare shoulders and bit of side boob are silently taunting me

“What are you looking at me for?” She asks, I look into her silver grey eyes and smile

“I just... can’t take my eyes off of you. You’re just so beautiful” I tell her, slight redness forms on her cheeks and she plays it off with a little laugh, shaking her head 

“You’re just saying that. I’m not beautiful. I’m just a girl” she says, she really shouldn’t have said that... I grab her so that she’s straddling me, our faces a hair breadth apart, her scent of pine and cherries is intoxicating, my senses go unbalanced and we’re not even kissing

”I refuse to agree with you. No _girl_ would volunteer to be in the Games. No girl would choose to take over providing for her family. You’re a woman. You have been for a while now” I tell her

”I was ready to give up that day... the bread? I sat under that tree and awaited for death to come. Then you gave me that bread. It fed me, Prim and my mom. It gave me the energy and will power to hunt our own meat. You saved a lot more people than you think” she says, I pull her in for a kiss which makes me smile, I could never get tired of kissing her, ever.

”Katniss. When you get out of the arena... will we still stand? Be together? Even when we get back to District Twelve? I ask 

“I wouldn’t do this with just anyone, Peeta. I just... I don’t want you to run away, I mean a woman who doesn’t want to marry or have any children... it’s not exactly attractive to the domestic men. Who, I believe, includes you” she answers 

“I want you, Katniss. I mean, yeah, watching you walk down the isle and having a large belly would be a dream come true but I’m content with you. I could happily not marry and have children with you, I wouldn’t look back and regret anything” I reply, moving her closer to start kissing her neck, I look into her beautiful grey eyes and kiss her forehead, she re-situates herself to sit next to me again. We sit there in comfortable silence when suddenly the thought comes to me 

“What’s your favourite colour?” I randomly ask, she fakes a look of shock 

“Wow... that’s way too personal to answer. You certainly crossed that line” she jokes and I chuckle while shaking my head 

“Really, what is it?” I ask her

”Green. It reminds me of the forest at home, of my dad” she replies 

“Mines orange” I say 

“Like Effie’s over the top wig?” Katniss grins teasingly, I roll my eyes and rub the certain orange part on her dress 

“This orange. It’s more like a sunset orange” I reply

”Sounds beautiful” she sighs, she’s positioned perfectly for a a picture and I’m thankful I brought my pastels and sketching pad with me

”Don’t move” I tell her, I open to a blank page and immediately begin to draw my beautiful girlfriend. She’s still the entire time and she’s even mesmerising me, she’s not un-earthly beautiful but she’s not entirely plain either. She’s radiant as the sun and I can barely stop myself from wanting to confess my un-dying love for her. It takes a couple of moments for me to finish, I sign my initials in the bottom left corner before showing her 

“I don’t really look like” she says, shaking her head and I scoff 

“Of course you do. My drawings never show lies. It’s nothing but the truth” I reply, watching as she flicks through, looking at what else I’ve drawn 

“You really like drawing, don’t you?” She asks and I nod 

“It helps me escape. Drawing for me is like a therapeutic way to heal from bad things” I answer as she looks at one of a hunched over figure in the dark in the corner of an empty room 

“I drew that a little after I walked away from you. That’s how I felt on the inside” I watch as her eyebrows furrow with a frown to accompany it, she strokes her finger tips over the drawing 

“I felt like this at one point. It’s just... scarier to see first hand. You put in a lot of emotion into your drawings” she admits 

“Yeah, a lot of them aren’t so good to think about. Recently though it’s been of happier things, sunsets and landscapes” I reply, she closes the pad and places it on the floor, she stands up and pulls me up with her. She slowly starts to sway side to side and I raise my eyebrow at her 

“What exactly are we doing?” I ask amusingly 

“Dancing” Katniss says, moving my hands to her hips before wrapping her arms against my neck, pulling me down to press our foreheads together 

“But there’s no music” I whisper, she then starts to hum a soft and slow tune, we stay like that for who knows how long, pulled close, foreheads pressed against each other and her soft humming. I take this moment in, I pull her closer, I hope Snow can see us right know and he understands that I’m saying, over my dead body would he harm a hair on her body, that if he wants war than I’m more than prepared to give him one. He may be surprised of the outcome.  


	3. Chapter 3

“This is important for the both of you to know that today is your individual assessment. You’ll have to perform your hidden talent. Katniss, your archery and Blaze your throwing of knives” Haymitch explains

“Try to be as compelling as you can, we want your score to be average or better. Average being 7, the best score being 12. Anything lower than 7 labels you as an easy take out and you’re the first that the Careers will come for” I add, directing my stare to Katniss who raises her eyebrow 

“How exactly are we going to be compelling? They’re sending us to our death practically” Katniss frowns 

“And they’re expecting angriness from the tributes. Keep your head on your shoulders, especially you, Sweetheart. We all know how fiery your attitude can be” Haymitch grumbles, directing his stare between the both of us, I roll my eyes as I drink my water 

“Am I missing something?” Blaze asks curiously 

“Not much other than the two love birds having meet-ups. Particularly at night” Haymitch says, which causes Blazes’ eyes to widen in shock, trust Haymitch and his wide mouth

”You mean my girlfriend. What we do in our relationship is hardly any of your business, all of you” I scowl, giving them all a warning stare 

“Isn’t that a little... stupid to do? I mean we’re going in there and you won’t see her again” Blaze has the decency to say, I scoff 

“And you think you will? What makes you think she won’t make it out?” I challenge 

“I don’t know... people like her don’t have much of a chance. She’s from the poor side of Twelve. I mean I stand more of a chance seeing as I’m a guy and I live on the merchant side of Twelve” he replies, my grip around my glass tightens dramatically, how dare he insinuate Katniss’ abilities, just because of her origin too? 

“Peeta...” Katniss says under her breath but I ignore it 

“What? So your knife throwing will get you through it? Tell me, how do you find fresh water? Or shelter? Better yet how do you climb safely up a tree or mountain?” I wait for his response which never comes 

“I rest my case. I don’t want to hear you doubting Katniss’ or anyone’s ability just because of their status. You never know, they may know more than you do. I’d hold my tongue if I were you” I snap. “You know what? I’ve lost my appetite” I mumble getting up and walking out to the balcony. 

I grip the railing in a deathly grip as I think about that stupid boy. He had some nerve to say what he said, I mean he has his opinion but I could tell it was a direct blow towards Katniss, something I definitely won’t stand for. It’s not long until I smell her scent next to me, my grip loosens, her presence alone is calming, to me especially 

“You should’ve just left it” she sighs 

“And let him get away with what he said? I couldn’t stand for it” I frown, looking at her, her expression is filled with something I haven’t seen on her beautiful features before

”I wanted to shoot an arrow right between his eyes, Peeta but it’s just...” she trails off and turns to lean her back against the railing

”Just what?” She gives me a look that answers my question and my jaw tenses

”You believe him? It’s not true, Katniss! He had no fucking idea what he was talking about! You can’t tell me that you think that it’s true about what he said” I reply with a stern look, daring her to say anything other than believing she can do it 

“Some part I think is untrue like him questioning my abilities but him standing more of a chance definitely could be true” she says which just enraged me more 

“How could you say that? Don’t you want to get back to your family? To me?” I growl 

“Of course I do! You don’t think that I’m not thinking about getting back?! I’m thinking realistically here, Peeta! You need to think of me dying in there and stop being so in denial! It’s killing me hiding all of this fear! All of this frustration! When all you want to talk about is when I get out! Grow some fucking eyes and look back into the real world, Peeta” she yells before storming off, if I didn’t feel like a complete dick then I’d tell her how sexy it was that her fiery eyes seemed to ignite her entire body in our fight, our first fight. I sigh and pull at my hair in frustration with myself, our first fight since being together and like expected I was the instigator, I sag against the railing with another sigh, well shit.

Katniss and Blaze leave later that day with Effie, Katniss avoiding my stare as I tried to approach her, I was able to kiss the side of her head but she just walked through the door without as much of a glance. I know I’ve screwed up and because I did, Katniss is withdrawing from me, a typical Katniss quality that I’m yet to grow with and no matter how frustrating it is, I can’t be angry about it because it’s what makes her my Katniss. I’m determined to bring her back to me and I won’t stop trying. 

A couple of hours later, Katniss storms the quarters, fire in her tracks behind her before she slams the door to her room. I watch as Effie and Blaze walk in, Effie looking furious, I decide to not hear it from her and instead I head towards Katniss’ bedroom. I open the door, letting myself in, she’s pacing the room, her hair undone from her signature braid so she can tug on it, she looks at me and scowls 

“Mind telling me exactly what happened?” I ask

”Not really” she grumbles as she continues her pacing until she stops, she sighs before meeting my eyes 

“I shot an arrow at the Gamemaker” she finally admits, my eyes immediately widen 

“You... what?” I reply, sharing in the fury, how could she be so careless?! Does she not understand what they can do?! 

“I shot it at an apple that just so happened to be near his head. Don’t look at me like that” she scowls 

“Katniss! What the hell were you thinking?! Don’t you realise what could happen?! They could give you a 0!” I exclaim, the anger and fury is long gone, I’m exclaiming in fear of her life more than ever now 

“It doesn’t matter, right?! I’m getting out! You said so yourself!” She yells back, shoving me 

“No matter what I do you will get me out of it, right? Because I’m getting out of that arena one way or another, right?!” She exclaims, I grab her wrists to try and calm her but all I see is anger and fear in her fiery eyes

”Let me go” she growls, I shake my head and smash our lips together, my hands move to her hips, gripping tightly. We roughly unchanged each other, both in fits of rage, I am quick at getting a condom on before slamming her roughly against the wall as I enter her. She claws at me like I expected she would, I can never get tired at looking at my back in the mirror the day after our fuck to see the slightly bleeding scratch marks on my back. It turns me right on. 

I groan, holding her hips tighter, I pull out and before she could say anything I bend her over the arms of the chair close by and enter her from behind, I put every ounce of anger, frustration and fear into my thrusting, assaulting her dripping wet centre 

“You’re a fucking pain in my ass” I growl

“That the best you got?” She groans as she cups my balls, I pull out and straighten her back up 

“Lay on your bed” I growl in her ear, she does as I command and I join her after picking up my belt, I roughly tie her wrists against the frame tightly before opening her legs wider and pushing them closer to her chest. I bury myself inside her and I smirk in victory as she cries out in pleasure, it makes me smirk to see her hands clench into firm fists as I bite and suck her nipples. 

She finishes with an orgasmic cry before I thrust roughly a couple more times, spilling into the latex barrier. I collapse against her, making sure not to put my entire weight on her, our rushed pants is all that’s heard throughout the room as we both try to catch our breath, that was the most intense sex I’ve ever had in my entire life... 

“Peeta... do you think you could untie me now?” Katniss asks, I pull my weight off of her enough to untie her from my bondage, once her hands are set free they run through my sweaty hair 

“I’m sorry...” she whispers, pressing our foreheads together, I shake my head because there is nothing that she should ever be sorry for

”No. Don’t apologise. Leave it to me to be an asshole. I’m the one who’s sorry... I had no right to talk to you like that, especially bringing your family into it. I’m just... shit, Katniss, I’m more than terrified. The thought of losing you... it immediately kills me” I reply 

“I know. I know it does, that’s why I stop myself from saying that the possibility is there” she frowns but I tuck her hair behind her ears and kiss the top of her nose 

“From now on, we talk to each other. I want you to tell me everything, what you fear, whatever is bothering you especially if it’s something to do with me and the same vice versa“ I reply and she nods in agreement, I pull out and climb out of bed to dispose of the condom then join her back under the covers, holding her tight

“I have a nagging feeling that I won’t make it out. That I’ll never see my mom, my little sister, my best friend and you. I don’t know if I should believe it or not” the anger ceases to exist in her tone of voice, complete and utter terror takes its place

”I understand. I know that’s a chance but I believe in you. I have faith in you, Katniss. If you try hard and to the best of your ability then you stand a chance. Even... even if you die, know that your family is well looked after, more than half of my earnings will go to them. Like I had said before” I reply, I hold her close as she cries in my arms out of fear of not just her but the lives around her and I can’t help but shed a few tears myself, sharing the same fears. 

Nervous for the scores to get called out is an understatement. I’d say more between fear and shitting myself. I hold Katniss closer as she sits in my lap, they announce every District, boy first and girl second. We’re all on edge as Caesar Flickerman announces the girl score from Eleven, it’s getting much more intense then it needs to but we all tense when Katniss’ name gets announced, Caesar looks extremely shocked... oh shit...

”With an... 11” he says, he leans back in his chair with a look of shock and it cuts, I react first by jumping up and twirling her around, kissing her passionately, I ignore the shocked gasp from Effie as if Katniss sitting on my lap wasn’t obvious enough for her

”They loved you!” I smile happily

”I thought for sure that they’d hate me” she replies, looking around the room, Blaze looking more shocked than excited, maybe because he got a 7 instead of an 11, I care more about my girl getting an amazing score

”Seneca must’ve loved your spunk” Cinna gleams at her, we all raise our drinks happily

”To Katniss Everdeen, our girl on fire” Cinna announces, we happily drink to his toast and we all seem to be hopeful that Katniss can make it out of the dreaded arena, that she could survive it and come out alive, I know I do, more than ever.

* * *

 “Now! It is very important to use your manners when talking!” Effie says to Katniss after her not so polite comment about how she has to wear the uncomfortable shoes that she is currently walking in, I grin at her attempts and the frustration rising on Effie’s face

”Why do I even have to wear these awful things when I’ve got my perfectly fitted boots” Katniss replies after taking off the feels and gesturing to her brown leather boots that I’ve seen her wear at home countless amount of times

”Of course not! They are not fit for Caesar Flickerman!” Effie screeches in horror causing me to chuckle 

“Peeta! Talk some sense into her!” Effie eventually says, I look to Katniss who gives me a warning stare, daring me to go against her 

“Sorry, Effie, but I very much like to keep my head. Look, those heels are way too high, if it’s heels you need her to wear then go for a shorter heel and a more comfortable fit” I reason 

“Short heel?! That’s absurd! No one in the Capitol wears _short_ heeled shoes” Effie replies, I just roll my eyes at the woman 

“I’m not a Capitol citizen, Effie. If I have to wear a heel, it has to be short and comfortable. Either that or I’m wearing those boots” Katniss challenges, crossing her arms over her chest 

“Alright! I will refuse to admit that it was my choice” Effie points her finger between the both of us before storming out, I chuckle and walk over to Katniss 

“I love how much you piss her off. It’s quite entertaining” I chuckle and she grins, wrapping her arms around my neck, a teasing look in her eyes which I know all too well 

“Even you? I remember yesterday you saying that I was a pain in your ass, while you had me bent over that armchair” Katniss grins, placing a kiss behind my ear and then across my jaw, deliberately missing my lips 

“You are a pain in my ass. A good kind. The kind that I never want to end or get rid of” I grin which causes her to roll her eyes 

“I can never get over how cheesy you are” she mirrors my grin before finally joining our lips

“Are you ready for the interview tomorrow?” I ask and she shrugs  

“I don’t know... it’s just... once that interview is over, I’ll be waking up at sunrise the next day to go into the arena. I hate thinking about it” she frowns 

“I know you do, I’m scared too. I want you to survive. Not just for your or my sake but for others around you that you know who care about you” I reply, cupping her face in my hands to give her a reassuring kiss but I know that words at this point won’t calm her and instead I have an idea. 

I take her to the room I use for painting. I instruct her to close her eyes before I lead her into the room. I tell her to open her eyes and she stares around at the masses of coloured canvas’s, things that are familiar and not so familiar to her. I walk over to her that she would find familiar, one that I was working on and recently finished

“This one I made personally for you” I tell her, moving over to the draped canvas, I look over to her and she nods, I take it off and I hear hear gasp, she slowly walks over and lightly touches the arrays of greens, yellows, browns and blues

”Peeta... it’s... this is... wow” she says and I chuckle

”I thought you’d like it. I combined two of you favourite things, family and nature. So, I decided to paint, you, Prim and both of your parents, happy in the woods that surround District 12” I explain 

“Peeta, I can’t tell you how much this means to me... I can’t believe you made this. It’s almost as if it actually happened” Katniss says

”Well, it’s yours. I made it especially for you. Whenever you feel scared, angry or even happy, you could look at this and know that your family are always with you” I reply, pulling her to my side 

“I’m grateful that you done this. It’s the most thoughtful thing anyone has ever done for me” she admits, kissing my cheek and I feel content that she likes the painting like I hoped she would’ve. 

I watch nervously in the crowd as Caesar goes through the tribute interviews. The Careers in particular are drawing in the crowd already, I have to bite back an unimpressed scowl and do it in my head instead. Once Thresh, District 11 male tribute, walks off the stage I immediately straighten up in my seat, knowing who he’s going to call out next. 

Katniss walks out and I watch nervously, she looks lost in her own thoughts, so much so that she doesn’t hear what Caesar said, Effie gasps at her “what?” Which we all know Effie will bring up later about proper talk-show adequate but I see the chuckle from the crowd as some sort of a good sign. Katniss’ interview goes on and it goes much better than expected, she has Caesar practically kissing her feet and laughing, she also wins over the crowd with smiles and laughter as well as Caesar. Everyone stands when they clap Katniss off of the stage, I look to Haymitch with a raised eyebrow in question and grin when he raises his flask, seems like he’s finally seeing what I’ve always seen.

Blazes’ interview I was less interested in, he done quite well but not like Katniss had. No one done better than Katniss had. Even though that means a few enemies, it means getting her sponsors will be that much easier, Blaze will take some convincing but I’m confident that it’ll be easy for Haymitch and myself to get Katniss sponsors. 

That night, I watch Katniss with a small smile as she sleeps naked next to me. Her face looking much more natural with the make up gone, the way I most prefer her to be. I couldn’t exactly sleep but I made sure she did, I much prefer looking at her and what she does in her sleep. The way her nose scrunches, the way she sometimes bites her lip and sometimes when she lets out a breathless sigh. All those things make up a ball and is added to the list of things I love about her, a list of things that I’ll miss if I lose her.

I can’t stop. I hold her face so that our kissing doesn’t stop. I’m not prepared just yet to let her go because I know that once I let her go through that door, there won’t be much protecting that I can do for her. At the thought I pull her closer to my body and she lets my tongue taste her mouth, I kiss her so she knows that I’ll be watching and I’ll try hard to get her out.

”Alright, that’s enough of that” Haymitch grumbles, breaking us apart, I kiss her forehead and then a quick one on her lips before sighing 

“I’m going to try and get you the sponsors that you need. Fight hard, like I know you can” I tell her and she nods 

“I will. I promise” Katniss replies, she kisses my cheek before walking next to Haymitch who escorts her outside the door where the hovercraft is waiting, at this point it’s just waiting and hoping that she makes it out. 

I had to curse at the screen when both Katniss and Blaze ran towards the Cornucopia. Katniss goes for a bag at least but Blaze runs for the weapons, already killing his way out. Katniss struggles fighting off tributes at first but she gets away and runs towards the woods, a place she’s most definitely familiar with. A place she can survive in. 

Even with that in mind it’s still hard to just watch her in there, alone. No allies. By now a handful of people have been killed, all making the mistake of going to the Cornucopia, I had to look away when Cato cornered the little boy. I was fortunate enough to get through my Games only killing a Career in self-defence, even then I felt that I lost a part of me. I could never kill a child, when I crossed them in the Games, I looked into their terrified eyes and would give them my food or water if I had it at the time, give them a little more fight in them. The Careers obviously weren’t exactly as kind as I had been, I saw them kill a little girl who I had grown attached to, she had fair skin with dark hair and blue eyes, her name was Sadie. 

Sadie only just turned twelve the day before the reaping. She enjoyed things that many other twelve-year-old girls did. This world never deserved her. She didn’t deserve the brutal killing by the leader of the Career pack, Samael. It still haunts me, getting held back by four Careers, including the one I thought was my ally, who promised to help me protect Sadie, as Samael cornered her.

She called my name to help her, save her. Even when he forced himself onto her, humiliating her in front of all of Panem and I was stuck hearing her screams over the sickening laughs of the Careers behind me and the nauseating grunts coming from Samael. She died from blood loss, her dead body was thrown by my feet, blood running down her legs... I cried for my ally once the Careers just left me there to look at my failure, I cry because she didn’t deserve the brutal end to her short life.

I struggle watching Katniss falling out of the tree. It’s currently been a day since the Games started and Katniss is getting pushed further away from the edge of the arena by different sized balls of fire and falling trees. I would march right in the control room and punch Seneca Crane, real hard. I look to Haymitch who’s looking just as painfully at Katniss as I am. The camera cuts to Blaze, he’s already gotten a sponsor from Haymitch, the idiot couldn’t find food so Haymitch sent him bread. What I’m seeing now proves that he didn’t deserve that sponsor, he runs after Katniss along with the rest of the Careers

“I knew that kid couldn’t be trusted” I scowl at the red head who’s running along side the Careers as they chase Katniss like she’s their prey

”The kid is probably terrified so he allied with the Careers” Haymitch grumbles in disappointment

“We both know that they can’t be allied with anyone who isn’t like them. Blaze is far from them” I frown

“Let’s just see what exactly they’re up to” Haymitch sighs sipping his whiskey. Katniss scales  a large and tall tree, I smile to myself, definitely the smartest move to make in her situation. I let out an amused huff of laughter seeing the Careers attempts to get to her or kill her, especially when Cato falls out of the tree but I scowl as Blaze suggests to wait her out, he better hope that I never get my hands on him... 

I stand abruptly from my seat as Katniss covers her squeal of pain by biting down on her hand. I put my charm to good use and find a group of Capitol ladies, make them laugh and open up to me until they agree to help me send a sponsor. I make sure that I type a note for Katniss before it gets sent off, _Apply generously. I’m watching and still believing in you-P_ , I send off the sponsor and re-join Haymitch, I wait till the repetitive beeping of the sponsor is heard, she has to climb a little higher in the tree to get to it but once she does she reads the note and I grin when she smiles down at it. She applies the cream and I relax immediately when I see her entire body sag in relief, mouthing a ‘thank you’ to the sky, a thank you that I knew was meant for me.

“Your girlfriend might actually win this” Haymitch scoffs, I roll my eyes at him 

“How long exactly have I been telling you?” I reply and he huffs in amusement as he continues to sip on his drink. The twelve-year-old girl from Eleven, Rue, initially got Katniss out of the situation she’s currently in, it’s not safe but it works. Dropping a tracker jacker nest on the Careers and Blaze, the girl from District One, Glimmer, suffers the most while the others run for the lake. I have to look away when Katniss falls out of the tree as she tried climbing back down. She stumbles and takes the bow and arrows from Glimmers lumpy body, she looks around and stumbles a couple of times before Blaze is running towards her, yelling her to run, I am surprised at his change in course, though that also meant dying at the hand of Cato’s sword. 

Seeing Katniss collapse after running so long makes me want to jump into the arena and drag her away to safety. I wasn’t expecting to see the little girl from Eleven to appear from some bushes. I’m impressed as she drags Katniss into a hiding spot and immediately starts chewing on leaves before applying them onto Katniss’ stings, this girl really is smart... she reminds me a lot of Sadie, only having light brown skin, dark brown eyes and out of control black curly hair. 

Watching Katniss bond with the girl was peaceful to watch but I also feel terrible because I know that the inevitable is going to happen and I know just how Katniss will feel, I went through it just as she will and it’s the hardest thing to see. I know that she knows about Sadie due to most likely seeing my Games but I never talked about it and I don’t know if I ever can...

Their plan to blow up the Careers supplies was the best idea that they could’ve come up with, although I was angst when she revealed the Nightlock berries, telling Rue that if either of them encounter the Career pack, they won’t have the satisfaction of killing either of them. I knew doing that had a cost but it was still hard to watch Rue who Katniss grew quite fond of, get a spear thrown right into her heart, it’s still hard to watch as Katniss makes her first kill. I run my hand through my hair as Katniss sings to the dying girl up until she screams and cries over Rues death and then she kisses her three fingers and holding it up to the camera, a sign that’ll for sure piss Snow right off.

The Games drag on with more fighting, Katniss almost dying trying to get the goodie bag. Thankfully Thresh saves her by killing Clove, claiming that her alliance with Rue is the only reason he saved her for that one time, I’m completely on edge because she’s made it this far, she stands a chance to get out. Watching her get chased by mutts caused my heart to race unhealthily fast but she gets on top of the Cornucopia in time. She has to fight off Cato who surprised me just as much as her, he almost killed her numerous amount of times but my heart sank when he got her in a head lock, making a speech about how killing is all he knows how to do

”He can’t do this!” I hiss to Haymitch

“He can. The Capitol won’t care if both of them go down” Haymitch replies, I sit their anxiously. Katniss kicks his leg hard enough for him to let her go and she pushes him off, the mutts start eating him alive but Katniss gives him a quick end by shooting him in the head with an arrow. The mutts run off into the woods, the sky lightens and the trumpets sound through the arena.

* * *

I hate seeing him. Seeing Snow put that damned crown on her head as he comments on her mockingjay pin. I hate the stare he gives me when I kiss her forehead, a stare saying that it’s not over, that we’ll be seeing him sooner rather than later but I still escort Katniss further away from his snake-like gaze.

Once we board the train after Katniss’ interview where she stated our relationship for the first time, after discussing it with Haymitch, he had said is what would stop the Capitol from turning her into a prostitute, the news of course caused the audience to immediately freak out, wanting more of the story. I sit with Katniss on the couch and hold her tight, happy that she made it out, that she’s back in my arms. 

Although, the night before we arrive in our District, I’m calming Katniss yet again as she screams from another nightmare. I hold her close as she cries and reassure her that I’m with her, she’s safe in my arms, it takes her a while to finally calm down but once she does we lay awake in the dark room we share 

“Do they ever go away?” She whispers, I frown knowing exactly what she’s talking about 

“I wish I could say that they do. They never really go away completely, it’ll re-occur less often over time but we can never escape it” I reply 

“What do we do now?” She whimpers 

“Now. We go home”


End file.
